when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
