I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
