I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
