I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize