Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I think I sprained my soul last night
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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