What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
