Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Randomize
