"it" just moved
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
do herpes really smell.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
