i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
