guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize