i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
