Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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