yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
