I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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