I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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