Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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