i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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