I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
