would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize