He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
