the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
