He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
My pussy is not your playground.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
