WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
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