How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
