It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
