um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
i just google imaged poop.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize