But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
