I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I understand Curling. That high.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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