Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
