i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
