Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
