God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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