Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Randomize