That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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