he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Randomize
