but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize