The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
