i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I would ride that face into the sunset
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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