Can Purell be used as lube?
you win again, gameday.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
