I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I will be naked everywhere
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
