Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
