Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Randomize
