My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
He did a backflip because drugs
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
