Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
