She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
be right there i have to get my cape
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
