I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
