would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
