he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
im calling her cock vulture from now on
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
