i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Vodka?
Forever.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
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