just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
