This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
