sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
