At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
