so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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