you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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