i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
