so that wasnt chicken after all
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize