it hurts more in the daytime
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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