Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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