Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
nutella sex= disaster
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I party with great urgency now.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
