Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
