He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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