I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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